Category Archives: Uncategorized

The Jeremy Corbyn story that nobody wanted to publish

It is a great pleasure today to write about the Jeremy Corbyn celebrity tour of Slade prison – known as #JC4PM@SLADE – which the media has failed to cover. I want people to know about the existence of the tour, and … Continue reading

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It Happened One Night

Our phone was at the bottom of the stairs on a little wooden cabinet; sitting squat, cream, a cord of ringlets connecting the receiver. Standard GPO Mayfair style? In my head, yes. In my head it’s still our old phone, … Continue reading

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Reflections on the resignation of a man who writes in a newspaper from a political party: a personal response

                                                                          Yeah, they’re screwed … Continue reading

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Review-Roger Hargreaves’s Mr Christmas

Like many parents at this time of year I read my children Christmas books. Tonight’s choice from my youngest was Mr Christmas, a late addition to the Roger Hargreaves Mr Men series. When it comes to the Mr Men I … Continue reading

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Analysis of the political debate

Let us be clear on this: any observer will note that everyone seems certain. Whether you are of the view that something or nothing must be done the position taken is certain. There are some who with certainty say that … Continue reading

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an open telegram to people who write open letters in The Guardian

Stop Stop

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on hearing incidental music in a news segment on a radio news programme

We need a montage on the news. Let music sweep Survivors weep And experts share their views. Let us skilfully juxtapose The soaring tones With victims’ moans – Let editors impose.

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What the terrorists don’t want

What the terrorists don’t want is my hot take: my carefully crafted tweet, sincerely fake. Admire how hashtag riddled I pontificate: on why my politics is right and why those others are talking shite. And you will see what this tragedy means really for … Continue reading

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The first named British storm – live blog

16.16 – still windy. and wet. 16.10 – the rain is so hard it has set off all the car alarms in the street making a sound like an orchestra of found sounds in an avant garde concerto by an American who spent … Continue reading

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the news where you are

They sit on the sofa. As he speaks she gazes through him with awestruck attention, nods and smiles to camera as he tells us – and now a chance to hear the news where you are. It never is though. With news of … Continue reading

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the shy atheist

in court he speaks he swears (and lies)

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A letter to my solicitor

Dear sir, I wish to meet with you at the earliest opportunity to instruct some amendments to my will. I would be grateful if you could advise on the implications of disinheritance of children and whether reference to the reasons … Continue reading

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A further letter to my twelve year old son and ten year old daughter

Children, Mother would like a word with you. Now. Yours etc E Malley

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A letter to my twelve year old son and my ten year old daughter

Look you two, I am not saying this whole remote control thing is putting a strain on our relationship but if you don’t tell me where you have hidden it right now I am afraid I am going to have … Continue reading

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A letter to my ten year old daughter

Hi. he says you had the remote control last and it is not down the side of the sofa and I am not watching this rubbish any longer. Now where is it? love Dad

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A letter to my twelve year old son

how do? Where the fuck have you put the remote control? Love Dad

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this afternoon’s phone call

Mid-afternoon, the house still, the phone was insistent. “Hello” “Hallo sir. You have had an accident.” “who is this?” “You have had an accident sir.” “no. Who are you?” “A bump. a small bump. An accident. You have had sir. An … Continue reading

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there’s a poet in every one of us

There’s a poet in every one of us, says Jez. And when they eulogise Corbyn Beware of the influence they’re absorbin’. Old Tom knew the score With his poetic lore: The younger ones will imitate Defacing, making Tom irate But watch for mature versifiers of … Continue reading

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I do not want to have to stop the kids going to buy their comics tomorrow. But I will. Because I do not want to see pictures of someone being murdered, or the reaction of a person watching another person being murdered, on … Continue reading

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lost Tolkien work published

I was delighted to learn earlier today of the planned publication of the annual pre Christmas lost Tolkien work. The work, long known to scholars, is intriguing and I am pleased to release an exclusive excerpt. Eggs Milk Tea Cheese Bread Biscuits … Continue reading

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