Category Archives: football


Tonight Celtic were knocked out of a European trophy for the second time before the end of August; and Motherwell and Dundee Utd summarily dismissed too. Rangers are the only Scottish team left – and they haven’t played yet. Scotland’s … Continue reading

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That football rumour

Anyone keeping an eye on the internet will be aware of a series of sensational football rumours explaining everything about something or other. Well, I can exclusively reveal their terms here – following consultation with my lawyers: [redacted] has [redacted] … Continue reading

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Football news

I think this pretty much sums it up:

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The Kenny MacAskill monkey operated random cliche and platitude generator

Speaking about football today Scottish justice secretary Kenny MacAskill and his team of an infinte number of monkeys today proved that not only can the infinite number of monkeys write Hamlet, but also that the monkeys can generate a speech laden … Continue reading

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Football news

Like me you’ve probably watched Escape to Victory and marvelled at John Wark’s performance alongside Ossie and Pele.  So caught up in the fleeting glimpses of Ipswich Town stars (hang on there’s Russell Osman) and wondering how The Lawgiver from Battle for … Continue reading

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We are, how you say? “Mashive underdogsh”

The former England manager speaks to the Dutch nation. Like Trevor Steven he’s picked up the local accent very quickly. For those of you with the inclination, it’s worth listening to Five Live listen again to hear Alan Green’s reaction … Continue reading

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Who’d have thunk it?

So, Rangers are reliant on Queen of the South doing well in Europe this season to help the co-efficient as the First Division club have at least got their league season underway before succumbing in Europe. It would take someone … Continue reading

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Still ill, still on holiday – but football, eh? Bloody hell

Still ill, but I make radio contact to advise that my home town team has been elected to the Scottish Football League. Well done, Annan.  Thankfully, the confusion among radio presenters who believed it was in Edinburgh (it’s more than … Continue reading

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Scottish Cup final – football, eh? Bloody hell

The first professional game I went to see was Queens against Hamilton Accies at Palmerston twenty five or so years ago.  This afternoon no doubt most will expect Glasgow Rangers to easily beat Queen of the South in the Scottish Cup … Continue reading

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I should be doing something else

but football, eh? Bloody hell. ETA  yeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssss – here’s to europe  (and i know it’s not good for the co-efficient, but great for my home area)

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How to conduct interviews – an occasional series

Simon Hattenstone has a nice little article in The Guardian today on football managers “losing it” (written following Sir Alex’s latest outburst). One of the tales he recounts is that of Jim McLean in an interview with John Barnes (no, … Continue reading

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Scottish Politicians – what are they good for? Absolutely nothing

Things we know about Scottish politicians. 1.  They can’t organise elections when they are called.2.  They can’t organise matters when they don’t call elections.3.  They can’t follow basic instructions on how to vote when electing presiding officers and their deputies. … Continue reading

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Football, eh? Bloody hell.

 On the day that a drunken Fifer  admitted assaulting Sir Alex Ferguson before he’d attacked a policeman (the headline drunken Fifer assaults Fergie conjured up images of Gordon Brown doing something awful to the Duchess of York), Scotland achieved (what was referred … Continue reading

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Football news

Has the Carlisle United chairman cleaned up in the spread betting for the first managerial casualty of the season?

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An idea for David Peace’s next book

The Damned Utd examines one of the shortest managerial careers in British football and has a wonderful character at its centre.  If anyone wishes to plough a similar furrow (minus the allure of Clough) how about this story – where … Continue reading

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Ask the chairman

The Observer newspaper currently runs the popular Ask the Ref feature, where a referee is given various football conundra designed to improve supporters knowledge of the game. In a similar spirit I call for a new feature: Ask the chairman. … Continue reading

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New job opportunity – football manager wanted

Are you ambitious?  Would you like to manage at the top level of British football (without any money to fund you ambitions)? Would you like to travel Europe before Christmas every year for three or four weeks?  After Christmas generally … Continue reading

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