Author Archives: loveandgarbage

About loveandgarbage

I watch the telly and read when not doing law stuff and plugging my decade and a half old unwatched Edinburgh fringe show.

Why I am responsible for that bloke everyone is talking about

A long time ago I had no idea what the world wide internets was and so me and some mates had a look around for football manager jobs we could apply for using pseudonymous email addresses while we were chatting about things … Continue reading

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Welcome our new guest film reviewer

I am delighted to welcome a new guest film reviewer to this blog. Her perceptive words of wisdom on cinema will be accompanied by our new television reviewer when he can get the time off from the Guardian and telling … Continue reading

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Paul Nuttall MEP – statement

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Paul Nuttall MEP, offof the Ukips, has clarified comments made on his website that he had lost a close friend at Hillsborough when he was at school. Mr Nuttall explained that his school had been on a … Continue reading

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Before talking

The waiting room has no natural light, the moments after arrival occupied by filling in forms – noting the rules on personal data, completing a checklist. As I read each word there is a shadow behind it. And when I … Continue reading

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Hogmanay

I have only ever been out on Hogmanay twice. Once, I stayed at a friend’s house in my hometown. She had invited friends from her University to visit, a collection of English literature students. I was a rural curiosity. The … Continue reading

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Love and luck

I’m not the easiest person to be around. I know that. I wish I was easier, and I try to improve (with varying degrees of success), but I am anti-social, awkward, too often trapped in the slough of despond. But … Continue reading

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Lifestyle columns in the Guardian destroy people’s faith in humanity . I’m rejecting it

From Wednesday, I’m going to live without reading lifestyle columns in The Guardian. I want my life back. I want my soul back. I’ll never know how many people link to this blogpost below the line in comments on an … Continue reading

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Katie Hopkins: an apology

The following text has been prepared for immediate release.     19 December 2016 Katie Hopkins: An apology We are sorry for Katie Hopkins.

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A detailed and considered analytical review of the TV show Question Time

It’s rubbish. It’s been rubbish for years. That’s why most rational people stopped watching. They invite awful people on because they are trying to annoy you. So: Don’t watch. As an alternative consider one of the following courses of action: … Continue reading

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Silence

You never feel worse than when someone leans across and touches your arm, inclined head, and with lowered voice, asks, Are you okay? You want the hand off your arm, but that won’t happen until you answer, might not happen … Continue reading

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Afterwards

You’d walked home that night: rewinding, replaying, rescripting. You’d messed it up, telling her. Messed it up. After the plates were cleared, as you’d talked about life and books and stuff there were no openings. Never an opening. Willing, your … Continue reading

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Protected: Train trip

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

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A Good Read

I often go to bed with the cheery voice of Harriet Gilbert by the bedside. “Thanks for downloading A Good Read.” I’ve been listening to A Good Read for over twenty five years.  At the time I started listening it … Continue reading

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Why Trump won: a personal reflection

As a professional columnist with views and opinions on things in the news I have obviously had to come up with an opinion on the seismic events which have happened over the past forty eight hours. I have spent much of … Continue reading

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I heard the news today, oh boy

I have never had a more visceral reaction to a politician, because he transports me. He takes me to places in my memory where I felt vulnerable, where I felt scared. And I know that from talking to others his … Continue reading

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Circles

Orange. Her face, the right hand side of her face, was orange. That struck me last week. Sitting eating, and talking, catching a reflection in a window, feeling transported twenty plus years sitting eating, and talking on the floor, or … Continue reading

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A hastily written rubbish topical poem on the proposed commissioning of a new royal yacht

“How enhance trade with friends o’er the water? Taking advantage of Wills, Kate and daughter?” “Steady on chaps you know what we ought to,” Quoth one quaffing toff, his nose terracotta. “To plug British stuff from farmer or potter At public … Continue reading

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Memories remembered

You know the sequence in Ratatouille? The critic attends the restaurant and asks for ratatouille. He takes a mouthful. And we fall, viewer and character together. We fall through the years, into his childhood. Proustean. That’s what the reviewers said. … Continue reading

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Citizen of nowhere – a hastily written vaguely topical poem

Seems I’m a citizen of nowhere Which is really no bad thing ‘cause the PM leaves me in despair With her sleazy kipper fling.

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Station, 1st October 2016

In front of the disaster memorial Held safe by an old brick atop the wall A spray of flowers wrapped in cellophane Marking where he stepped in front of the train.  

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