Author Archives: loveandgarbage

About loveandgarbage

I watch the telly and read when not doing law stuff and plugging my decade and a half old unwatched Edinburgh fringe show.

on being anti-social

You are standing having a conversation – awkwardly on the sidelines, yes, and stooping to hear while worrying that your stammer might reappear as you try to shape words, but still, having a conversation – and you are not looking … Continue reading

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A man. A plan. An offshore scheme. Panama.

Let me begin with a confession. I have for twenty five years been a Guardian reader. It started when someone passed a copy around at a party, and after reading Nancy Banks Smith I was hooked. They knew what they … Continue reading

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Mistur Taggurt, they wur thu droppins o a gigantic dug

  “A dinnae ken whae ye are. A dinnae ken whit ye want. If ye’re lookin fur a ransum tae pay fur yur dug’s microchip a can tell ye a dinnae hae cash. But whit I hae are a verra particuler … Continue reading

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The albums that defined my teenage years

They say that the things you listen to as a teenager determine your listening habits for life. (I don’t know who “they” are, to be honest, but it seems the sort of thing that people who say they like listening … Continue reading

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Project Pollyanna

There is a risk to most things in life. Earlier today I wandered round to the local butcher. I crossed three roads on the way there, three on the way back. Each time I contemplated the possibility of being mown … Continue reading

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The EU referendum, John Longworth and the British Chambers of Commerce

If you head an apolitical organisation that publicly takes a neutral position on a major political issue then when questioned by the media – as a representative of your members – you should not take a political position. So, during the … Continue reading

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Please sign my petition banning referendum poetry

  I’ve had the call to launch my mission So started up an e-petition Its object honest, pure, and good To save us all, each neighbourhood, From tortured metre, inept verse, Fractured similes and worse Prepared intending to deceive Supporting … Continue reading

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On the early appearance of EU referendum poetry

Tortured non-arguments hidden in verse Are things to which most normal folk are averse. So Leave or Remain camps you know what to do Destroy every stanza mentioning  EU. ‘cos each inept poem, causes such distress Do mankind a favour and quietly … Continue reading

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Loss and absence

When the news broke I turned to my wife. “have you seen?” I said, my voice hushed. She covered her eyes, nodded. I held her. We could do little else. At times like this we need support, the warmth of … Continue reading

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The Jeremy Corbyn story that nobody wanted to publish

It is a great pleasure today to write about the Jeremy Corbyn celebrity tour of Slade prison – known as #JC4PM@SLADE – which the media has failed to cover. I want people to know about the existence of the tour, and … Continue reading

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It Happened One Night

Our phone was at the bottom of the stairs on a little wooden cabinet; sitting squat, cream, a cord of ringlets connecting the receiver. Standard GPO Mayfair style? In my head, yes. In my head it’s still our old phone, … Continue reading

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Reflections on the resignation of a man who writes in a newspaper from a political party: a personal response

                                                                          Yeah, they’re screwed … Continue reading

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Review-Roger Hargreaves’s Mr Christmas

Like many parents at this time of year I read my children Christmas books. Tonight’s choice from my youngest was Mr Christmas, a late addition to the Roger Hargreaves Mr Men series. When it comes to the Mr Men I … Continue reading

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Analysis of the political debate

Let us be clear on this: any observer will note that everyone seems certain. Whether you are of the view that something or nothing must be done the position taken is certain. There are some who with certainty say that … Continue reading

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an open telegram to people who write open letters in The Guardian

Stop Stop

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on hearing incidental music in a news segment on a radio news programme

We need a montage on the news. Let music sweep Survivors weep And experts share their views. Let us skilfully juxtapose The soaring tones With victims’ moans – Let editors impose.

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What the terrorists don’t want

What the terrorists don’t want is my hot take: my carefully crafted tweet, sincerely fake. Admire how hashtag riddled I pontificate: on why my politics is right and why those others are talking shite. And you will see what this tragedy means really for … Continue reading

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The first named British storm – live blog

16.16 – still windy. and wet. 16.10 – the rain is so hard it has set off all the car alarms in the street making a sound like an orchestra of found sounds in an avant garde concerto by an American who spent … Continue reading

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the news where you are

They sit on the sofa. As he speaks she gazes through him with awestruck attention, nods and smiles to camera as he tells us – and now a chance to hear the news where you are. It never is though. With news of … Continue reading

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the shy atheist

in court he speaks he swears (and lies)

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