In the loop

Waking at four. Lying there. Hearing, feeling heart, chest raise, fall. Hearing the voice. The whisper. Hearing it. The whisper in the ear. The whisper that denies self. The whisper that denies worth. The whisper that denies. In the ear. In your ear. Again.

And again.

You are stuck. Seeing. Smelling. Tasting. Hearing. Stuck.

You are stuck.

You are stuck. Hearing the voice. Hearing the whisper. Hearing it. The whisper in your ear. The whisper that denies your self. The whisper that denies your worth. The whisper that denies you. In your ear. In your ear.

There is a pressure on the shoulder. On the front of the left shoulder. A pressure that stretches across the left side of the collar bone. A pressure that holds. Tightness on your shoulder. Again.

And again.

You are stuck. Smelling. Tasting. Seeing. Hearing. Feeling. Stuck.

You are stuck.

You are stuck. Hearing the voice in your ear. The whisper in your ear that denies your self. The whisper in your ear that denies your worth. The whisper in your ear that denies you. Again.

And again.

Stuck.

You are stuck.

The tension in your shoulder. The tension in the front of your left shoulder. The tension across the left side of the collar bone.

And you hear the voice.

You are stuck.

You hear the whisper.

Again.

And again.

And you are stuck.

And there is the tension across the left side of your collar bone

and there is the tension in the front of your left shoulder

and you hear the whisper in your ear and it denies your self and it denies your worth

and you feel the tension in your left shoulder and you feel the tension in the left side of your collar bone

and it is getting tighter

and it is getting

tighter

and you are stuck

again

and you hear the whisper in your ear that whisper in your ear that denies your self and denies your worth and denies you and the tension in your shoulder and in the left side of your collar bone is tighter and you feel it and you hear it and you see it and you smell it and you taste it and you hear the whisper that denies you

and you hear the whisper that denies you

and you hear the whisper that denies you

and you hear the whisper that denies you

and you hear the whisper that denies you

and you see the denial of you

and you taste the denial of you

and you smell the denial of you

and you feel the denial of you

and you are nothing

again

you are nothing

again

you are nothing

and it is just past four, and you are lying there, hearing, feeling your heart, your chest raise, fall and you hear the voice, the whisper

you are stuck

again

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About loveandgarbage

I watch the telly and read when not doing law stuff and plugging my decade and a half old unwatched Edinburgh fringe show.
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One Response to In the loop

  1. Pingback: Some personal posts | Love and Garbage – some commonplace musings

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