this afternoon’s phone call

Mid-afternoon, the house still, the phone was insistent.


“Hallo sir. You have had an accident.”

“who is this?”

“You have had an accident sir.”

“no. Who are you?”

“A bump. a small bump. An accident. You have had sir. An accident.”

“no one here has had an accident. Who is this?”

“National insurer sir. Your insurer. You have had accident in your car.”



“You’re a liar.”

“sir. Your accident. I call about your accident.”

“no one has had an accident here. No one.”


“how did you get this number?”

“your accident. In your car sir. I am insurer. your claim.”

“There’s no claim. There’s been no accident. How did you get this number? It’s ex directory. And I’m on”

“Sir. There was bump. In your car.”

“the telephone preference service. Where did you get this number?”

“your claim, sir. Your claim. the bump.”

“There was no bump.”

“Your car”

“You’re a liar.”

“the car”

“You’re a scamming liar”

“Your claim for your car.”

“I don’t have a car. I don’t drive.”


“so, liar. Where did you get?”

The line purred.


About loveandgarbage

I watch the telly and read when not doing law stuff and plugging my decade and a half old unwatched Edinburgh fringe show.
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