Dear Russell (if I may)
Give us an autograph.
ETA (2.32 pm) PS I now have a bowl of cold soup because of the time I wasted typing this.
ETA (2.44 pm) PPS have been told I need to add some misogyny to get this in the papers. Here goes. Ooh women, you’re scamps. (not sure I’ve got the hang of the casual hatred thing, but hope the papers appreciate the effort)