4.39 pm – “Why is Ed balls not trending on twitter?” *innocent face*
4.35 pm – From outside the man standing banging his fists on the window appears to be shouting. But he is silent. Double-glazing at The Guardian office is excellent.
4.34 pm – a tear trails down the face of the Guardian’s live-blogger. His work is done. He amused literally a person, his boss who required the whole live-blogging people typing Ed Balls things. He weeps now, hoping to get back to some proper work. But no. There is a tap on his shoulder. “There’s a royal baby soon, Shiv” he hears. “Why not live-blog people on the twitter commenting on the birth of the royal baby. That’ll be great.” He sighs, makes his way to the window.
4.32 pm – The Guardian live-blog is now silent. It is not longer making live updates of old tweets it has found.
4.30 pm – The Guardian has now noticed that Ed Balls typed Ed Balls again, but has closed its live-blog before noticing that his wife typed Ed Balls too. Bit shoddy to be honest.
4.29 pm – The Guardian is now blogging a brief video posted by one of their other staff with lots of people typing Ed Balls. It is amazing.
4.28 pm – The Guardian has thus far missed that Ed Balls and his spouse both tweeted Ed Balls. This is despite their live-blogging big Ed Balls related developments.
4.26 pm – They have noted that someone has noticed that someone who is more famous than Ed Balls has not tweeted Ed Balls
4.23 pm – They are now posting pictures of tweets of people having typed “Ed Balls”. This is now the funniest thing that has ever happened. All wars have ended due to the ensuing hilarity and mirth.
4.22 pm – They are now saying that lots of people on twitter are tweeting “Ed Balls”.
4.20 pm – They have blogged a picture Ed Balls tweeted more than two weeks ago. It has the words “Ed Balls” on it.
4.19 pm – They have blogged someone referring to a time in the future when people will type Ed Balls.
4.18 pm – They have now blogged a thing from earlier today. It is really funny. ha. Ha.
4.17 pm – Today’s Guardian live-blogger is Shiv Malik. His other article on the Guardian website today is about two people being dead in a pool. The Guardian eh?
4.17 pm – They have now found a tweet from over two weeks ago and have posted it on their live-blog.
4.15 pm – They have now added one line of commentary to give the impression that they are not just trawling twitter searches of people having typed “ed Balls”.
4.14 pm – Basically it looks like some chump at The Guardian is trawling a twitter search looking for tweets people have made earlier today with the words “Ed Balls” in them. He must be loving it.
4.13 pm – The Guardian has now blogged a couple of things tweeted earlier today about Ed Balls. They are really funny.
4.11 pm – The Guardian has live-blogged about a tweet written some hours ago by popular British politician “Ed Balls”.
4.10 pm – The Guardian has live-blogged some more stuff about the whole Ed Balls thing. They’ve mentioned T-shirts.
4.08 pm – The Guardian has blogged links to various videos where people do something very amusing about “Ed Balls” because two years ago today British politician “Ed Balls” typed “Ed Balls” when using the twitter – which, as many readers will know, is the zenith of humour on the twitter.
4.05 pm Oh look they’re live-blogging people typing “Ed Balls”.
4 pm – regular readers of the internet will realise that the popular British newspaper “The Guardian” has a website on which some bod is paid (apparently – pending the introduction of full-on citizen journalism) by the Guardian to live-blogs stupid things that nobody gives a toss about. In this live-blog I intend to live-blog the Guardian’s live-blogging of stupid things.