Police fear for safety of politicians as too many have crowded on bandwagon

Police today issued a warning to politicians that so many have climbed aboard the “React to Hilary Mantel’s five and a half thousand word lecture delivered two weeks ago that has only just been splashed in the media after being printed in a literary magazine last week although we have not read the piece and have only picked up one or two choice extracts from a story in a tabloid paper  whose readers we are trying to court” bandwagon that public safety has been compromised.

A senior police officer said,

“Ordinarily when there is a passing bandwagon only a small number of politicians leap on and there is no danger of the bandwagon toppling over and crushing them in a pointless and futile tragedy. However, with the interventions of the Prime Minister and the leader of the opposition – who have jumped aboard despite appearing to have no awareness of the dangers that lurk beneath a Mantel piece – there is now a danger that the bandwagon will overturn pummeling their stupid skulls into a mush. However, they may also injure other roadusers in the vicinity – and that won’t do.

“In such circumstances we in the police recommend that politicians should avoid bandwagon jumping and instead indulge in a knee-jerk response. If the knee is jerked hard enough the only potential danger is that the foot will kick the politician in his own face. And frankly, that’s not going to bother anyone. And it might help tidy up the gene pool.”

Advertisements

About loveandgarbage

I watch the telly and read when not doing law stuff and plugging my decade and a half old unwatched Edinburgh fringe show.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Police fear for safety of politicians as too many have crowded on bandwagon

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s