Failing to leave children in a pub: an apology

It has come to my attention today that unlike many senior politicians and a number of well-spoken individuals contacting radio phone-in shows I have not forgotten how many children that I have and accidentally left one or two of them in a pub toilet after a quick drink. It appears that – after visiting a place, like a zoo, or museum, or concert, or cafe, or restaurant, or a park, or one of those other places that people go with children, that making sure – while I am there – that all the children are there, and then – on leaving – making sure that all the children I took with me are still with me is not indicative of responsible parenting, but is some aberration in my parental behaviour no doubt responsible for the greater ills of society. I appreciate that my own social origins may have been a factor in acting in such an inappropriate way and that if I had been to a fee-paying school, or I or my spouse had inherited flipping great wadges of cash I might have been more casual about keeping an eye on the kids, especially if my job had become quite stressful. I therefore apologise to society for my small part in the increase in societal breakdown, and await, with no little trepidation, the social work investigation into my scandalous smothering parenting behaviour.

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About loveandgarbage

I watch the telly and read when not doing law stuff and plugging my decade and a half old unwatched Edinburgh fringe show.
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2 Responses to Failing to leave children in a pub: an apology

  1. thembeatles says:

    I was shocked today to find this is the social norm and am hanging my head in shame for our omission.

    I’ve also sent pleading emails to my 3 children seeking forgiveness for their terrible upbringing, which will hopefully be accepted in order that they will continue to drain our bank account without casting up their appalling upbringing.

    Please God they will do the right thing!

  2. Pingback: Blog posts from 2012 | Love and Garbage – some commonplace musings

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