The Scottish Football Association has this evening confirmed that it has initiated stringent and severe door closing at a stable in Glasgow belonging to Craig Whyte, a former disqualified company director and stable lad.
Although Mr Whyte’s horse left the premises and was last seen in the hands of a team of vets (who had previously advised Mr Whyte on his horse sense) the SFA has today confirmed that Mr Whyte’s doors will be closed as a result of his failure to tell the SFA prior to the bolting of the horse that his stable doors were open.
An SFA spokesman said, “Mr Whyte assured us in a letter that his stable doors were closed but after watching the Scottish news every bloody night for what seems an eternity it appears that the reporters have been going on about his horse roaming the streets and suggesting that Mr Whyte’s horse had been placed in the hands of vets to euthanise. As these reports were confirmed by a detailed and substantial enquiry carried out for us by a man watching the television we can today confirm that we have called for Mr Whyte’s stable doors to be closed. This is the most severe and stringent action available to the SFA. We do not close stable doors lightly. Oh no. We give them a bloody good shove. Our shove is so strong that sometimes the door bounces back open and more horses escape. But that won’t be a problem this time because Mr Whyte’s horse is dead.”