Monthly Archives: March 2012

The “Bradford Spring” – a detailed and considered response

I have two observations George Galloway reminds me of a pro footballer who turns up in yet another part of the country at the only club they ever wanted to play for — loveandgarbage (@loveandgarbage) March 30, 2012 and given that … Continue reading

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Newsnight transcript – Pastygate

Last night I watched Newsnight. Like most news programmes now it was mainly about pasties and jerry-cans of petrol. The entire show was watched over by a twenty litre jerry-can – sitting there like a tribal totem. There was a vox … Continue reading

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Today’s news in brief

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Is there VAT on pasties yet? live-blog

13:58 Still no VAT on pasties. 13:33 There is still no VAT on pasties. 13:11 There is not yet VAT on pasties. 13:10 In response to the sensationalist reporting in the Daily Telegraph I have decided to set up a … Continue reading

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Francis Maude speaks to the nation on the great petrol crisis

Responding to a threatened strike by fuel tanker drivers Cabinet office minister Francis Maude said, “Aaarrgggh. Help.” Sobbing uncontrollably Maude stammered, “We’re all going to die. We’re all going to die. There’ll be no more suppers for the people of Britain.” … Continue reading

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TV ideas: Laryngitis

When the much-hyped Laryngitis hit the screens in early 2013 it gave a welcome shot in the arm to the cliched world of television talent shows for Laryngitis involved a collection of mentors judging contestants but with a twist. With … Continue reading

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Rangers and Ticketus

I am loath to add more to the blog posts, the web comments, the newspaper stories, and the television and radio reports on yesterday’s case of Clark and Whitehouse (administrators of Rangers FC plc) as applicants seeking directions from the … Continue reading

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Stable lad faces stringent and severe SFA door closing following bolted horse incident

The Scottish Football Association has this evening confirmed that it has initiated stringent and severe door closing at a stable in Glasgow belonging to Craig Whyte, a former disqualified company director and stable lad. Although Mr Whyte’s horse left the premises and … Continue reading

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Bill Roache – a denial

I would like to deny the unfounded allegations that, unlike much of the rest of the population apparently, I was in Bill Roache’s bedroom late at night for any reason other than bouncing on a spacehopper at the foot of his bed while … Continue reading

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BREAKING: Undercover police operative breaks silence as flame-haired woman, 43, arrested

Two undercover police officers who have spent the past few years masquerading as a retired Metropolitan Police Service pantomime horse have today broken their silence following the arrest of a horse trainer, 49, and a flame-haired woman and former newspaper … Continue reading

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BBC Scotland apologise for inadvertently containing news in an evening Rangers bulletin

Following literally complaints BBC Scotland has apologised this evening after inadvertently broadcasting some news in the middle of one of its regular Rangers bulletins late last week. A spokesman confirmed that at 6.48 pm on Thursday evening an item appeared in … Continue reading

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SFA inquiry reveals SFA not fit and proper organisation to run evening of heavy drinking in brewery

The Scottish Football Association has today published a report commissioned from a judge to determine whether or not the Scottish Football Association is an appropriate organisation to arrange an evening of heavy drinking within a brewery. The report, commissioned some months … Continue reading

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Political scandal: a comparative study

In the United States after months of denials and obfuscation the President is forced into admission that there was a cover-up about his party’s role in a burglary at opposition party offices. In the United Kingdom after days of obfuscation … Continue reading

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Humperdinck under 24 hour protection

Following a series of interviews carried out by Paul Gambaccini on British media outlets this morning, ageing singer and prospective British Eurovision entrant, Engelbert Humperdinck, has been placed under 24 hour protection by police with emergency medical treatment on stand-by. … Continue reading

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