Monthly Archives: February 2012

BREAKING: Police seek Gambaccini

Police on learning of the sad death of Monkee Davy Jones have today sent out an urgent message asking if anyone knows the whereabouts of Paul Gambaccini. A police spokesman said, “If you see this man on a rolling news network … Continue reading

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BREAKING: News International Statement on care for retired chief executives

When a chief executive reaches the end of its useful working life, News International executives and shareholders find it a suitable retirement home. News International retires and re-homes on average one chief executive every few years. Before any retired chief executive … Continue reading

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Loveandgarbage on Sunday

I am delighted to announce that the super soaraway N E W Love and garbage on Sunday blog will hit the blogstands next week. After catching a glimpse of the vast piles of unsold copies of the new Sun Sunday in my … Continue reading

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Lent – live-blog

Thursday 24th february 2012 7 pm – ach, I give up. Wednesday 23rd February 9.04 am – I intend to live-blog all of lent. It’s what the Guardian would have wanted. Stay posted.

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BREAKING: Whitney Houston funeral service finally ends

The appearance of Paul Gambaccini, chief suspect in the untimely death of all deceased pop stars, on screens at 1.42 pm marked the official end of the coverage of the funeral of Whitney Houston. The coverage, which began with a … Continue reading

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Statement from Craig Whyte regarding the takeover of Rangers FC

I have exclusively received this statement from Craig Whyte regarding his takeover of Rangers FC: “I can confirm that I did not take over Rangers Football Club to make a fast buck. Do you people have no idea how long … Continue reading

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As a Scottish sports journalist I comment on today’s sporting and financial developments

Today’s news may have both shocked and stunned the watching public – although not so much as yesterday’s news stunned and shocked people – but it was not news to a top Scottish sports journalist with a mastery of the … Continue reading

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Some thoughts arising following the lodging of papers indicating that Rangers intend to enter administration

I am shocked. And stunned.

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BREAKING: Gambaccini quizzed by police in Houston death probe

Veteran music commentator, Paul Gambaccini, has today been questioned by police in connection with the deaths of Whitney Houston, and all other recently deceased pop musicians and singers. A spokesman for the Police confirmed that Gambaccini was helping police with … Continue reading

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New England manager asked to resign before appointment

The prospective England manager, Noah Walter Mean Arry, due to be appointed on a wave of popular acclaim as the “only man for the job” following his being cleared of anything dodgy as a result of being too stupid to … Continue reading

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Some carefully considered thoughts on how Football Focus should cover the resignation of the England manager

I think Football Focus’s tribute to the former England manager should be a montage of pictures and clips of the former manager looking sad. It should not be accompanied by instrumental music but only vocals. It should be entitled “Ah Capello”

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My carefully considered analysis of the Harry Redknapp tax evasion verdict

Let he who has not opened up a secret bank account in his pet’s name appending digits from his date of birth cast the first stone.

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Loveandgarbage’s financial advice column

I have today received the following e-mail: “Like most people I have often wondered about setting up a bank account in the name of a favourite animal with a couple of digits taken from my date of birth  while having … Continue reading

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