Following today’s evidence at the Leveson Inquiry from two noted authors, This Morning’s soap correspondent Sharon Marshall (author of the memoir, Tabloid Girl: A True Story); and talent show buzzer operator Piers Morgan (author of The Insider – diaries that he wrote years after the event based on things he hadn’t yet forgotten or where he had a recollection of specifics that otherwise elude him) I am delighted to announce my new book “Love and Garbage: the made-up true story of my life as a tabloid hack”.
I feel that never having worked as a journalist, or written for a newspaper (other than satirical pieces written as a schoolboy that sneaked their way past a naive local news editor) is no barrier to this publication. In this book although I cannot recollect anything, don’t remember any specific information, to the best of my knowledge and belief didn’t do anything worth speaking of, and certainly did nothing unethical particularly not involving scrutinising any of the people that didn’t work for me, and certainly have no recollection that I authorised the payment of up to £80,000 to a third party private investigator who obtained private information that could only be obtained by breaching data protection legislation, I will gather together stories from people I have read about or heard about (preferably dead) and gather them together in a form of heightened reality using plenty of topspin (or lies as some would call them).
This true made-up story will cast light on the dark underbelly of modern British journalism, and tell tales of the times I met lots of politicians and celebrities. It will be great. Just like me. And Piers Morgan.