As you may know I head up Worldwide International Campaign for Information Liberation from Executives And Cabinets on Scones. Following renewed interest in me, after my successful appearance in the top three hundred thousand bloggers in the United Kingdom (and top three placing in the best pesudonymous blogger named after a novel by a Czech dissident), it is perhaps unsurprising that I have been commissioned and agreed to write an autobiography with a substantial chapter about my struggle to correct the pronunciation of the word scone by American diplomats in leaked communications, as well as all the usual stuff about growing up, love, telly, music, and my favourite sofa. Oh, and the children. I guess they should be in it too.
Anyway, following news that my autobiography (which is available soon at a very reasonable price from all good large supermarkets and book stores, with all proceeds going towards my on-line campaign to liberate information on the pronunciation of scone from around the world) is to be written by me (a person with whom I have had disagreements about the pronunciation of scone in the past) I regret to advise that this autobiography will no longer have my co-operation. I have also contacted my friend, and my reader to urge both not to answer any of my questions when I am researching my autobiography (did I mention it would be available at a very reasonable price from lots of outlets?).
So, if I approach you with a question about me please make sure you don’t tell me the answer, even if I assure you that it is not for my autobiography (available soon at a very reasonable price) but for some other reason – perhaps to help me fill the children in with some family background or the like. It is only be refusing to co-operate with people like me that the Worldwide International Campaign for Information Liberation from Executives And Cabinets on Scones (WICILEACS) will be able to reveal how top international diplomats and politicians pronounce the word scone.