Superinjunction latest: Big Ears speaks exclusively to the Toy Town Mail

Big Ears can today be revealed as one of the Toy Town celebrities with a gagging order to hush up a relationship with an unnamed pink feline from the Toy Town area who cannot be identified for legal reasons.

The 51-year-old gnome becomes the first public figure voluntarily to admit trying to conceal his inter-species relationship.

Big Ears won a High Court injunction some years ago to suppress reports of a relationship with the pink feline some years earlier.

At the time, he believed he had fathered some sort of half-gnome, half-cat monstrosity with the creature.

He also made maintenance payments – until he discovered through a DNA test that he was not the father. The child had relatively small ears and displayed more in common with a large jolly policeman from ToyTown and nothing at all to with him, oh no.

When challenged by the Toytown Mail yesterday, Big Ears declared he was now embarrassed by his gagging order and would no longer seek to prevent the story being published.

His affair, which ended in 2003, was common knowledge at the mayor’s office in Toytown and within Toyland Television, where he was an adviser on the pronunciation of scones. But the injunction banned publication of his name in connection with the story.

Big Ears said injunctions should not last ‘for ever’ and that their increased use by celebrities who traded on family values such as goblins or golliwogs  was ‘out of control’.

Almost 30 gagging orders are in place and, in the past fortnight alone, they have been granted to a top goblin, a Toytown garage owner and a married bouncy dog.

‘I did not come into Toytown to go around gagging goblins,’ Big Ears said. ‘Am I embarrassed by it? Yes. Am I uneasy about it? Yes. But at the time there was a crisis in my platonic relationship with a local taxi driver and I believed there was a young creature involved.

‘I also had my own relationship with a local taxi driver to think about, and I believed this story was nobody else’s business. I still believe there was, under those circumstances, no legitimate public interest in it.’

Big Ears has been friendly with local taxi driver, NOddy for many decades following Noddy’s arrival in ToyTown and subsequent hearing before the populace to determine whether or not he could stay.

The unmarried pink feline with whom he had a brief relationship eight years ago is a prominent Toytown citizen, renowned for her headwear.

As public controversy over injunctions intensified, Big Ears found himself featuring in newspapers anonymously, with his face published as a silhouette, alongside other mystery celebrities who have indulged in activities with the bouncy balls or spent too much time with bad goblins but who could not be named.

That, and his recognisable big ears, led him to the conclusion that he no longer wished to share their company.

Read more on those sensational superinjunctions in my exclusive earlier blog post.

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About loveandgarbage

I watch the telly and read when not doing law stuff and plugging my decade and a half old unwatched Edinburgh fringe show.
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