Joan Collins revealed as Stig

Actress and former member of the SAS porcelain-complexioned and heavily made-up occasional Spectator diarist Ms Joan Collins yesterday succeeded in her legal action to publish her autobiography and identify herself as Stig of the Dump. Ms Collins played the role in an early 1980s children’s TV adaptation – although used Keith Jayne (who also appeared in TV’s Murphy’s Mob) as a body double for scenes involving mud. Ms Collins had originally agreed to keep her role as Stig of the Dump secret, in order to maintain her air of completely natural glamour – as exemplified by her appearances in TV’s Die Nastily, which featured Charlie offof Charlie’s Angels as a man in a suit. Ms Collins went on to play the Scarecrow in the popular American show The Scarecrow and Clive King – a popular early reality show looking at the life of the Stig of the Dump creator.

Tight-lipped television executives refused to comment on the judge’s verdict as Ms Collins left the court in her trademark overalls and white helmet – in order to protect her complexion and prevent her from melting in the unseasonally warm weather.

Meanwhile a television executive went off to look for some top gear in London’s central London in order to numb the pain, and congratulate himself on the expensively won publicity for his television programme.

About loveandgarbage

I watch the telly and read when not doing law stuff and plugging my decade and a half old unwatched Edinburgh fringe show.
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1 Response to Joan Collins revealed as Stig

  1. Jim Lawrence says:

    I thought it was Quentin Willson.

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