Like many people I had no idea that Big Brother was still on. However, I was very taken with the idea of favourite housemates over the years returning to the Big Brother house for one last hurrah.
To that end I have today petitioned Channel 4 demanding the immediate incarceration of George Galloway and Tommy Sheridan.
While communicating using only the medium of interpretative dance.
While being electrocuted.
By John Tickle in a giant pepper pot costume.
Until this happens I am afraid these final few days cannot be called the “Ultimate” Big Brother.
I await the reply.