Faithful reader, I have tried but episodes of Celebrity Big Brother have served as chewing gum for the eyes.
Nothing has happened.
Well, that’s not strictly true. There’s been talking, discussion, laughter, politeness, sleeping, banter, attempts to discuss disability, and the televisual rehabilitation of Terry Christian. Even Coolio seemed upset when he appeared to have upset someone else. To be frank only the incident about Princess Fiona from Shrek sparked my interest for long enough to drag me away from red button coverage of the BDO darts – and thus far, the games there (Wagner – Anderson apart) have been rubbish.
People have been nice to each other. And Tommy – aside from an ill tuned singing of that sectarian song that isn’t the hokey cokey (no, I didn’t think so, either) or one from the Donald Findlay songbook – a model of teetotal probity. In fact the only damage he’s done himself is football related. After proclaiming himself a Celtic fan on his first evening, and then claiming that the Fields of Athenry is a Rangers song he may merely have served to alienate a chunk of his potential supporters from fans of either mob. Anyway on Athenry-gate (as no doubt some newspaper somewhere will be terming it) there is a jolly post from the ever entertaining Mr Eugenides.
Dear reader I was ready to give up. Even my devotion to bringing you occasional shafts of light in the murky world of Sheridan was nearly over. I had almost resorted to telling you that the mum of one of my son’s friends at school looks a bit like Gail, down to the big Court of Session victory sunglasses, and then they broadcast the show this evening.
And suddenly you saw what went on in the mind of Tommy Sheridan.
Two things highlighted matters. First the contestants had to choose publicly between three possible evictees – Ulrika, some boy band bloke Ben, and Page 3 girl Lucy. Now, the decision can be based on personality – but the look of horror crossing Tommy’s face was revelatory. Politically he could only save one. Lucy is a Page 3 girl – and saving her wouldn’t look good, given the case that dare not speak its name. And Ulrika is Ulrika – famous for a controversial love life. Now saving her might look like he felt something. So obviously the only person he could save politically was Ben. Which he did, and which he proudly proclaimed – his voice decibels higher than anyone else.
BUt the most peculiar thing was the dancing incident with Michelle (who used to be in a band). During a "party" Tommy was dancing with Michelle, but was deeply uncomfortable. Agitated about what would be made of it "out there". Now, you, and I dear reader know that there’s only one reason for his concern. Coming soon to a High Court near me is a court case focusing on his personal behaviour and whether he lied in court. His personal behaviour lies at its heart. How the tabloids deal with his personal behaviour forming a further crucial element. Tommy cavorting with someone half his age would not look good in this context. It impacts on the image. Now you know that. I know that. Tommy knows that. But – Terry apart – no-one in Big Brother knows who he is, and for legal reasons they can’t say anything about the upcoming case or the previous case that spawned the current charges – and no doubt Sheridan has been advised not to say anything about it either. Hence, his obsessiveness about the topic (and his obsessiveness is justifiable when one sees how the tabloids reacted to an innocuous comment about sharing a bathroom at the end of last week).
So, Tommy is stuck in a bind. Stressed, concerned about the impact of anything he does or says in the house, the pressure increases. And when we look back at his behaviour and interviews when he alleged the great conspiracy at the hands of the CIA/MI5/SSP/White Fish Authority et al we saw how he acted under the most extreme pressure.
The most perceptive comment of the evening though came from Ulrika. She noted that by entering the house he had given up any pretence of being a serious politician, because this was showbiz. And that’s right .
So, whither or wither Tommy? And whither or wither his vanity project, Solidartomsc?
But with one career ruled out, Tommy’s hopes of a legal career may have taken a battering through his entry to Big Brother. You see, it’s exam time. Is appearing on television show for self-promotion purposes justifiable special circumstances for missing an examination? And if not, then entry to the Diploma in Legal Practice (based on first attempts in compulsory subjects) is scuppered.
Pity him for he knows not what he does.
ETA originally attempted to post at 10.45 last night but unable to do so when my connection to LJ went down.