ThE National year of Reading – how do you attract members of the opposite sex?

I am often approached by complete strangers who say to me,

"What books do you think make a person attractive to a member of the opposite sex?"

Flummoxed by this query I’ve walked away in silence.

Fortunately, help is at hand. The National Year of Reading (no, me neither) has carried ot a survey of almost people to find out the answer.

Apparently, for a bloke Nelson Mandela’s Long Walk to Freedom, Shakespeare and poetry (none specified sadly – but I’m guessing not Pam Ayres) help attract women – as does a penchant for Jane Austen.

Given that half of those surveyed were teenagers it should be noted that (for younger readers) "Top of the list to impress a teenage boy are Facebook and MySpace followed by text messages, Harry Potter and song lyrics. Magazines like Zoo and Nuts are number seven."

And I cannot convey how sad I find that last sentence

"To impress a teenage girl, it is the same top two, followed by song lyrics, cookery books and Harry Potter."

So, JK once you’ve done with Watch Out Beedle’s About – write some Harry Potter songs and you’re onto a winner.

So, my faithful reader, what books do you find make you irresistible to the opposite sex?

Misery memoirs, celebrity biography (never read by the celebrity), battered Penguin classics you’ve never read but acquired to go on the pull, children’s pictures books you read aloud (using all the voices) on public transport or in cafes, magical realism, poetry by writers with dodgy socio-political views, Scandinavian crime fiction exploring the psyche of a moody loner of a detective (with a disrupted family life), contemporary fiction (Booker shortlisted novels need not apply), or something else?

Do tell all

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About loveandgarbage

I watch the telly and read when not doing law stuff and plugging my decade and a half old unwatched Edinburgh fringe show.
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4 Responses to ThE National year of Reading – how do you attract members of the opposite sex?

  1. hoiho says:

    Homeopathic Treatment Of Diseases Of The Sexual System: Being A Complete Repertory Of All The Symptoms Occurring In The Sexual Systems Of The Male And Female by F. Humphreys. Obviously!
    failing with that, Lottery Numbers Past, Present & Future by Harry Schneider is a sure-fire winner.

  2. Potter!
    I know I always make jokes about musicals, but I can’t believe there hasn’t been a Harry Potter one yet.

  3. ravensthorpe says:

    Well, nothing I’ve ever read that’s for sure.

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