How to create the next greatest Olympian of all time

The success of swimmer Michael Phelps (yes it’s impressive, but how many events with slight variations to his basic starting skills can one man win medals for?) has set me thinking about creating the ultimate multi-medal winning Olympic machine.  After much thought, while giving full consideration to my normal working activities, I have a plan of action

1.  INtroduce darts to the Olympics.
2.  Obviously, darts requires to be a mutli-discipline event hence,
3.  Introduce a number of darting events including:
(a) standard 501 – double to finish
(b) 501 – double to start, double to finish
(c) the clock from 1 to bull – each treble allowing you to move on 3, each double to move on 2.  (3 events)
4.  Clearly each darting event would require a singles, a pairs, and a team competition.  (6 events)
5. Play each event on a standard dartboard, and a Yorkshire board (no trebles) (12 events).
6. Select Phil the power Taylor for each event.

Clearly with the televisual success of archery (big darts in a bigger, less TV friendly auditorium, with no table service for the paying punters) – it is only a matter of time before darts enters the Olympic family.  And when it does, it must negotiate with the IOC seeking multiple medals.  

With that one move (to be supported by our Dutch colleagues) – improving the “team GB” performance in the medal table is guaranteed.

About loveandgarbage

I watch the telly and read when not doing law stuff and plugging my decade and a half old unwatched Edinburgh fringe show.
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6 Responses to How to create the next greatest Olympian of all time

  1. You’ve missed out the Manchester board, too. Although I can never quite remember how it differs from a Yorkshire board.
    And what about a Killer tournament just to round it off, a sort of Mixed Doubles for the rubbish countries? 😉

    • burkesworks says:

      A Manchester “log-end” board is much smaller than a Yorkshire board, it is hung lower (the bull is 5’3″ above the ground), the numbers are in different places (the 4 is at the top), and the rules of Manchester darts have more in common with Killer than traditional darts. The picture disc of the Fall’s Hit The North 7″ was made to look like a Manchester board, if you’re wondering what they look like.
      And don’t forget the Lincolnshire board (which is the same as a Yorkshire one except black all over).

    • Killer would be like having a three-legged race introduced for track and field – which isn’t such a bad idea.
      Based on the swimming philosophy – each stroke a different skill – the more types of board the merrier.

  2. I take the Field of Dreams approach to darts at the Olympics. If I built it, it will come. I’ve got the board and an oche. I’m just waiting for Seb to call.
    Richard Caborn – while sports minister – once appeared on the Beeb throwing against Bobby George talking about the use of darts within schools. The only thing that could have made me happier (aside from replacing Bobby George with any other player apart from Chris Mason) would have been if Caborn had classified pigeon racing as a livestock based sport and allowed my fellow pigeon fanciers to deal with the hawk menace.

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