Now, I enjoy GMTV as much as the next person – as long as the next person hates GMTV with a passion as a form of television for those challenged by the intellectual rigour offered by the Jeremy Kyle show. GMTV is hosted by that bloke Ben (not a journo – whose employment appears to evidence the contempt that GMTV executives have for their viewers and employees by showing the journos at GMTV that anyone could do their job and the public wouldn’t care because they’re too brain dead in the morning to switch over); Kate thingummybob offof Come Dancing – who is married to Dolly Draper; Andrew whatdoyoucallim (at one point Britain’s third best male tennis star after Timothy Claypole from Rentaghost and then septugenarian Fred Perry); John “The Time 10.30, the place NOrwich” whose career has dipped from his chat show prominence; and the nadir of breakfast presenters, Fiona Phillips. Some suggest that her career trajectory is linked to her marriage to a GMTV executive, but I prefer to view her career as being indicative of a great British dream – that a viewer can watch the show, listening to the vapid and vacuous questions and shout at the screen, “Good god, I could do better than that.” Her role, then, is to make the public feel better about itself. You may be inept, thick, charmless, and the like – but when she comes on screen you feel that if Simon Cowell opened up some TV presenting talent show you could succeed. Phillips is so bad her regular morning mental workout leaves viewers fondly regarding the intellectual rigour of Kelly Brook’s interviewing skills during her brief Channel 4 reign.
That Phillips should not be allowed to operate basic domestic electrical appliances never mind run a morning chat show would I think be a fairly uncontroversial assertion. So what on earth was Prudence the presbyterian thinking when he offered her a post in the Labour ministerial team. Gordon was said to be promoting a ministerial team of “all the talents” – that these talents included things ordinarily viewed as “anti-talents” suggests that those of us that questioned Prudence’s fitness to govern were spot on.