During the Scottish election parties bartered as to how many more police officer Scotland needed. The SNP promised 1000 more, a promise that has generated much debate. But why does Scotland need the extra officers? Now we know. We apparently need extra officers in order to enable them to attend seances. Such is the plethora of seances around Scotland that the police are currently unable to send officers to each to investigate mysterious deaths. The extra 1000 officers will be sent on a rota system to various seances and pyschic events answering positively to probing queries on whether the departed had a vowel in their name, had a head, used to like doing things, had a relative for whom the letter D, F, G, maybe H was important &c, while those remaining in the station will be viewing season box sets of TV’s “Medium”. Politicians though continue haggling over numbers. Some want 1,000; some hundreds, some much more. I trust they can reach a happy medium.
Pauses to get coat.
ETA to correct link