Football, eh? Bloody hell.

 On the day that a drunken Fifer  admitted assaulting Sir Alex Ferguson before he’d attacked a policeman (the headline drunken Fifer assaults Fergie conjured up images of Gordon Brown doing something awful to the Duchess of York), Scotland achieved (what was referred to in the Radio Scotland commentary as) “the greatest result ever”.  As my wife and I listened to the radio (I refuse to give money to Uncle Rupert – taking the Dennis Potter approach to Murdoch’s humanitarian value) we listened astounded as a commentator failed to draw breath for what seemed to be the final 6 or 7 minutes of the game; as the presenter Richard Gordon crowed with paroxysms of delight; and Scotland players willingly hugged Chick Young.  As the final whistle blew, and mindful of the greatest football commentary ever (3 minutes 15 second in)  we tried to come up with an appropriate list,

Napoleon Bonaparte, Vercingetorix, Cardinal Richelieu, General de Gaulle, Marie Antoinette, Francois Mitterand, Julie Delpy, Alain Prost, Nikolas Sarkozy, Asterix the Gaul.  Can you hear me Asterix the Gaul?  Your boys took one hell of a beating.

Within minutes of our finishing this rant, the first text message (of similar terms but mentioning the Hunchback of Notre Dame and onions) arrived at Radio Scotland.  As this appears to be the chosen manner of celebration for small nations defeating international superpowers it is always worth having a pre-prepared list.  So, the next time a home nation plays France in an important sporting event who should appear on the “Your boys took one hell of a beating” list?

About loveandgarbage

I watch the telly and read when not doing law stuff and plugging my decade and a half old unwatched Edinburgh fringe show.
This entry was posted in football, france, sport, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Football, eh? Bloody hell.

  1. shaz_rte says:

    Those snooty Parisian shop assistants who look down their noses at you when you’re not a perfect size zero and happen to have canal boats in place of shoes (admitting that I took a quarante-deux got me laughed out of one Paris shoe shop!)
    I didn’t see any of the soccer last night. I was too busy OD’ing on the rugby fest that is ITV4 (no Sky here!) :o)

  2. pigeonhed says:

    I am reluctant to say anything that might lessen my chances of getting intimate with Julie Delpy.

  3. burkesworks says:

    Gerard Depardieu, Serge Gainsbourg, Edith Piaf, Johnny Hallyday, Sacha Distel, Jacques Tati, and of course the ker-niggets off Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

  4. giantweazle says:

    The cast of Ello Ello.

  5. hoiho says:

    Jean Paul Sartre! Jean Paul Belmondo! Vanessa Paradis! Brigitte Bardot! Nicolas Sarkozy! Jean Jacques Rousseau! Serge Gainsbourg! Gerard Depardieu! Daft Punk! General de Gaulle! Napoleon! Can you hear me, Napoleon? Your boys took one hell of a beating! Your boys took one hell of a beating!

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