Fake ITV1 summer schedule

An audience with the Pope

After the successful revival of the format in recent years with Lionel “Hello” Ritchie and Take That the original “audience with” format of a witty raconteur regaling the star-studded audience with amusing anecdotes in response to planted questions read by prominent ITV figures is to be revived with the all new audience with His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI.

Following the tried and tested formula big name ITV1 stars such as Al Murray, Dame Edna, Bill Roache, Ben Sheppard, Simon Cowell, Joe Pasquale, Zac Dingle, Lorraine Chase, Sherrie “Loose Women” Hewson, and David “the Duke” Dickinson will ask questions before reaction shots of “Mad Lizzie”, Wincey Willis, Kaye Adams, Tony “Adam Chance” Adams, Alastair Stewart, Harvey offoff Fat Club, Dale Winton et al creasing themselves with laughter.

Controversially his holiness has demanded that one part of the programme involve questions and answers in Latin, hence the presence of Ben Sheppard.

Music will be provided by a reconstituted (and mechanically retrieved) G4 with Michelle McManus on bongos.

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About loveandgarbage

I watch the telly and read when not doing law stuff and plugging my decade and a half old unwatched Edinburgh fringe show.
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2 Responses to Fake ITV1 summer schedule

  1. andrewducker says:

    Had you noticed that Maddy McCann’s parents are off to see the pope?
    It’s a fantastically bizarre world we live in, it really is.

    • The McCann story becomes ever more peculiar. The interviews on Friday featured one scene (ITN one I think) with a man frantically gesticulating in the background for the interview to be wound up when the interviewer got on to a certain topic. I was so distracted by his arm waving that I missed what the question was about. The game they’re playing with media makes me uncomfortable. Private briefings to the press from sources close to the family criticising the Portuguese police while in public there are airings of support. The age of spin enters family tragedy. I guess a quick Jack Charlton type meeting at the Vatican will keep the story on the front pages for another day.

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