The Observer newspaper currently runs the popular Ask the Ref feature, where a referee is given various football conundra designed to improve supporters knowledge of the game.
In a similar spirit I call for a new feature: Ask the chairman. In each assume you are the chairman, what would you do?
1. One of your star players signs on a pre-contract for your main opponent. Your manager, after a game where your star player had a stinker, suggests that the star player threw the game in order to allow his future club to gain promotion at your expense and fights the player in the dressing room. Do you
A – suspend the manager and the player.
B – persuade the manager to go on long term sick leave and ensure that the star player is never picked for your team again.
C – As B, but then sack the manager in the summer claiming a “Mutually agreed” split.
D – have another fag.
E – blame the supporters
2. Your team is performing well in Europe and in the league but your manager is fairly inexperienced and the players are still “babies”. You could gamble on maintaining this level of success by throwing money at the team and players while incurring a vast wage bill, but one bad season in the league and your team will go into freefall and could end up going bust. Do you
A – work within your means, attempting to incrementally develop the team after initial consoldation.
B – go for broke, so the club goes broke, and then clear off to some other team where you try the same trick while you hand over control of the old team to some bearded oaf with a midget obsession.
C – As B, but leave before it goes broke.
D – have another fag
E – blame the supporters.
You’re the chairman. What would you do?