Via the estimable Rob Buckley news that a new adaptation of the Bell Jar is in the offing. This version will be uplifting. As an executive notes, “Esther Greenwood has a strong outlook on life, and we’re really looking to bring out the humor in the character. We don’t want to do a depressing descent into the world of suicide.”
Coming soon from the production company:
Tickling on the Orient Express : “We don’t want to do a murder. They’re so depressing.”
The Third Man : “We don’t want a depressing descent into the world of black marketeers. Hell, Lime buys Swiss chocolate for children, doesn’t go into the sewers (they’re a bit dark) and doesn’t get shot. Oh, and Martins gets the girl at the end.”
Romeo and Juliet : “We don’t want to do a depressing descent into the world of mutual suicide, so let them both live. ANd have kids.”
Hamlet: “We don’t want to do a depressing descent into the world of madness and Oedipal relationships. SO Hamlet gets on really well with Claudius, and they go on a road-trip. Perhaps to taste wines, or pillage somewhere.”
Any other potential one or two line pitches for heart-warming adaptations gratefully received.