You are suspected of involvement in a serious crime, an apparent armed robbery. You have been identified on the scene and have distinctive eyebrows. You know that if picked up by the police you will have to participate in an identity parade. So, you shave your eyebrows to confuse matters.
But you are identified in the parade. And you are convicted for the robbery and (due to your eyebrow shaving exploits) perverting the course of justice and you get seven years, and the delight of being castigated as “an incorrigible rogue” by the judge.
In other criminal justice news Heather Mills has been criticised for making too many 999 calls.
Chief Superintendent Moore said, “We do have to respond to a disproportionate high volume of calls from Heather Mills McCartney because of the situations she finds herself in” Sadly he declined to elucidate this cryptic comment. What are these situations? Does she hang around in pubs looking for fights? Does she taunt passers-by as to their poor quality clothing and lack of good work for charity? “We are duty-bound to respond, but clearly people who make lots of calls to police run the risk of being treated as the boy who cried wolf.” (and eaten? This seems a bit extreme for the police. Or was that just the version fo Aesop that my parents tried to scare me with as a young child).