Well, I hope the public is satisfied. My children will now go without Christmas. A satsuma and a chocolate penny. That’s it for them, now. It seemed as easy a decision as Arthur Fowler borrowing the Christmas club money. Phil’s odds were fantastic. The darts lobby had got him on the shortlist. The orchestrated vote Taylor campaign could only lose if the establishment figures at the Beeb attempted to screw things up for him. Well, the writing was on the wall when he didn’t get to speak to Gary or Sue and was instead stuck with Adrian in the auditorium. Did they think he couldn’t walk to the front. (that seems to have done for Nicole Cooke too). And they didn’t do a Tweddle and let Phil show his arrow skills in a competition of the type they used to have on the show. Come on: Phil against The HItman Hatton; or the Power against the royal, 501 double to start and finish. That would have sorted them out. But no…
And the only other darts player on camera was Bobby George sat in front of the Unsung hero winner (awarded for sitting in close proximity to the Dazzler).
And then they wheeled out HRH Priness Anne – and mentioned the Queen. Oh, the Queen speaks to Zara on the phone. Middle England convulsed in a paroxysm of delight. “ooh, the Queen. We have to vote for the Queen.” After all, it’s the only sodding chance we have to vote for a royal. So, the Beeb One middle class audience did its job, and Mark Thompson’s knighthood is in the post, without having to put a penny in anyone’s pocket.
At least St Helens won Team of the Year.
ETA Apparently she got a third of the vote, over 10% ahead of Darren Clarke who was himself 10% ahead of Beth Tweddle… Anyway, the contributors to the 6-0-6 messageboards aren’t happy.
Indeed some are suggesting that HRH would have decapitated Lineker (and with his ears that’s quite a threat) if Zara didn’t win.