Hazel has a scream or the bland leading the bland

Top political story of the day is that a certain insubstantial careerist met with a shrieking US politician to discuss t’internet.  Apparently they’re discussing how to raise money over t’internet.  May I suggest the following foolproof technique.

Hello Dear ,

I am an insubstantial careerist, the chairman of a once great political organisation, and devotee of the political Head of State of a once great nation.  The object of my devotion is soon to pass on, his alloted time nearly being up.  He has some heart problems and may be spending more time with out titular head of state at her pleasure.  His passing on will cause great loss to my people and the brothers and sisters in our family.  It is important that we arrange a means of funding the works in the object of my devotion has been carrying out in recent years.  The object of my devotion had obtained £30 million (POUNDS STERLING) from various people and has kept it safely protected in a secure investment. 

I am contacting you in view of the fact we will be great assistance to each other likewise developing a cordial business relationship. I currently have within my reach the sum of THIRTY MILLION UK POUNDS , which I intend to use for investment purposes specifically in your country.

This money was obtained from various wealthy donors who agreed to donate the money in the form of a loan.  However, a local police officer is attempting to freeze these funds in order to pursue his political ambitions and thwart us in our work in looking after the poor.  In view of these I acted very fast to withdraw the £30 MILLION UK POUNDS from our organisation’s vault where it was held safe and well preserved in trunk boxes and brown paper envelopes and I have deposited it in a privately erected security safe. I intend to declare our organisation bankrupt on the object of my devotion’s departure from us. No detailed record ever existed concerning the money.  Neither is the money traceable by the police because there is no document showing how we received the money, nor what was expected in return. I seek your assistance to move the money out of my glorious country. On your consent, I shall expect you to contact me urgently to enable us discuss in details about this transaction. Bearing in mind that your assistance is needed to transfer this fund,

I propose a commission of 40% (Forty Percent) of the total sum to you for the expected services and assistance. All arrangement and plant’s has been put in place through the help of our family lawyer for the claim and clearing of this fund from the security and finance company as we move the fund directly to your account.

Your urgent response is highly needed so as to stop further contact. I therefore mandate Charlie, who is our family lawyer, to deal with you on this transaction. Your will be required firstly to correspond with him on [insert telephone number], before communicating with me this is totally for security reasons, because people and family relatives has try in the pass to rip me and the object of my devotion off.

I must use this opportunity to implore you to exercise the utmost indulgence to keep this matter extraordinarily confidential whatever your decision, while I await your prompt response.

Your can Email me directly :-

Yours sincerely,

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About loveandgarbage

I watch the telly and read when not doing law stuff and plugging my decade and a half old unwatched Edinburgh fringe show.
This entry was posted in fund raising, insubstantial careerist, internet, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

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