David Blunkett is reported to have called for an all out nuclear strike on Stangmoor prison. Mr Blunkett – once described as a “future prime minister” (by David Blunkett and biographer Stephen Pollard) – claimed that he merely wanted to send a message that an all-out machine gun attack led by Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart and the forces of UNIT could not achieve. While escorting a shapely American brunette to a nearby car park Mr Blunkett explained that the recent activities of Professor Emil Keller within Stangmoor prison in pacifying prisoners has led to a reduction in recidivism creating spaces within the stretched prison service. However, a source close to Mr Blunkett suggested in a bluff northern manner that dealing with reoffending through creative mechanisms such as the brainwashing of the Keller Device was a solution only favoured by namby pamby liberal judges like the Lord Chief Justice.
Blunkett The source argued that in order to send out an appropriate message to those in the right wing media, the general public that the government was tough on crime and the causes of crime it was felt that wiping out prisoners through a tactical nuclear strike was appropriate. “It sends a clear message that I am barking mad that only I am, sorry my friend David is fit to run the Home Office in place of wet liberals like John Reid.”
Jo Grant has been taken hostage, again.