Deranged and sex-starved Blunkett calls for nuclear attack on Stangmoor Prison

David Blunkett is reported to have called for an all out nuclear strike on Stangmoor prison.  Mr Blunkett – once described as a “future prime minister” (by David Blunkett and biographer Stephen Pollard) – claimed that he merely wanted to send a message that an all-out machine gun attack led by Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart and the forces of UNIT could not achieve.  While escorting a shapely American brunette to a nearby car park Mr Blunkett explained that the recent activities of Professor Emil Keller within Stangmoor prison in pacifying prisoners has led to a reduction in recidivism creating spaces within the stretched prison service.  However, a source close to Mr Blunkett suggested in a bluff northern manner that dealing with reoffending through creative mechanisms such as the brainwashing of the Keller Device was a solution only favoured by namby pamby liberal judges like the Lord Chief Justice.  Blunkett The source argued that in order to send out an appropriate message to those in the right wing media, the general public that the government was tough on crime and the causes of crime it was felt that wiping out prisoners through a tactical nuclear strike was appropriate.  “It sends a clear message that I am barking mad that only I am, sorry my friend David is fit to run the Home Office in place of wet liberals like John Reid.”

Jo Grant has been taken hostage, again.

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About loveandgarbage

I watch the telly and read when not doing law stuff and plugging my decade and a half old unwatched Edinburgh fringe show.
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3 Responses to Deranged and sex-starved Blunkett calls for nuclear attack on Stangmoor Prison

  1. > Jo Grant has been taken hostage, again.
    She likes it like that, you know.
    Blunkett has been spending too much time with Prof Stahlmann – he’s become a Primord.

    • Jo had better be careful with being taken hostage too often. She might end up having her face reshaped by some mad scientist and she’s bound to look and feel a right fool.
      Blunkett the Primord? Worryingly accurate. It sounds like a job for Raymond Briggs.

      • And of course John Reid likes dressing up as part of the Republican Security Forces. Perhaps we’re all living in the world of Brigade Leader Lethbridge Stewart.
        (Mind you, Platoon Leader Shaw was a bit tasty. Caroline John in a neo-fascist uniform does things for me.)

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