Whose baby? (version 1) – unbroadcast pilot – Five Life
A celebrity who has recently adopted a child from a less developed nation is invited onto the Derek Batey hosted show. Batey is a late replacement for Michael Barrymore. Batey quizzes the celebrity as to his or her motivation in acquiring the latest celebrity fashion accessory and in a Mr and Mrs type round asks the celebrity questions about the adopted child’s habits and likes and dislikes. What’s their favourite food? What’s their favourite colour? The child (in filmed inserts edited amusingly) gives responses. These responses involve the child saying rude words, and making faces. The child then does a Grossman in showing the studio audience around their adoptive parents’ home. Like all children he or she knows where to find anything which potentially embarrasses the parents much to the amusement of the audience of OAPs bused in from Brampton or Whitehaven.
In the final round (gleefully ripped off the Krypton Factor or Buzzcocks (depending on your age)) the celebrity is invited to identify the child from a line up of similar looking children.
The pilot is never broadcast as initial guest celebrity Madonna fails to be embarrassed by the appearance of her book in the “showing round the house” round and when she fails to identify the child in the ID parade.