You kip while UKIP decide part 2 (and Gordon Brown on AM)

Apparently YOUKIP are announcing their new leader today.  This is as dull as it seems. although come Euro election times YOUKIP have performed surprisingly effectively – assisted by the list based PR system (which assisted the SSP and John Swinburne MSP and the Scottish Senior Citizens Alliance at the last Scottish election). Last month I analysed the candidates and made the following prediction,

“I’m backing a man in a suit to win.”

I can’t wait to see if I’m right.  I’m on the edge of my tenterhooks.

Anyway the favourite is commodity broker Nigel Farage, who has been on the telly a few times and consequently has higher visibility than the other candidates.  He’s the bloke that was trotted out when Kilroy threw his toys out of the pram the other year in a Jam style outburst.  

Apparently Forage, YOUKIP’s hunter-gatherer candidate, is facing stiff competition from former Prime Minister and PR man Mr Campbell Bannerman, now well into his second century and consequently unlikely to succeed unless YOUKIP are going for even more experience than the Lib Dems.  

Welsh retailer Richard Suchorzewski claims to have the most endorsements from party members (which should mean he’ll win although he has a poor track record at elections polling only 2 % in the last general election – although  I have no information on his canvas returns there).  His campaign is based on novel ideas like having a shadow cabinet, and unlike the Forager he will be basd in the UK rather than Europe allowing a Churchillian style defence rather than guerilla warfare in the European Parliament, and in the spirit of David Cameron’s new politics he has no policies instead claiming that he will move YOUKIP from being a single issue party to having lots of policies.  Expect hoodie hugging or hoodie mugging to begin in the near future.  

The outsider is computer consultant David “Gone with” Noakes who is campaigning on the hardline message that Europe is a police state (unlike the Labour party’s treatment of civil liberties in the UK where Gordon hinted at the weekend in his gentle Andrew Marr interview that the 28 day detention period prior to charging was not sufficient and he would present an extension to Parliament – one of Brown’s policy pronouncements swamped by his Shaggy style protestations).

Gordy and Kev Maguire.  It wasn’t me (apologies to Shaggy)

(Yo Maguire) Yo
(Open up man) What do you want man?
(Tony just caught me)
You let him catch you?
(I don’t know how I let this happen)
With who?
(The guy next door, you know?) Man…
(I don’t know what to do) Say it wasn’t you
(Alright)

Tony came in and he caught me red-handed
Creeping with Tom Watson 
Picture this we were both redrafting,
plotting on the study floor
How could I forget
That I had given him an extra key
All this time he was standing there
He never took his eyes off me

But he caught me with Tom Watson
( wasn’t me)
Saw me leaking to the Mirror
( wasn’t me)
I even plotted in the shower
( wasn’t me)
They even caught me on camera
( wasn’t me)
He saw the smiles and the laughter 
( wasn’t me)
Heard the words that I told him
( wasn’t me)
Heard the laughs getting louder
( wasn’t me)
He stayed until it was over 

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About loveandgarbage

I watch the telly and read when not doing law stuff and plugging my decade and a half old unwatched Edinburgh fringe show.
This entry was posted in gordon brown, police state, politics, shaggy, ukip leadership election, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to You kip while UKIP decide part 2 (and Gordon Brown on AM)

  1. Anonymous says:

    and following this post you now have the highest!

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