Forgive me. It’s been more than a week.
How do you solve a problem like Graham Norton?
In 2006 the Edinburgh Television Festival broadcast to a select audience of braying executives a pilot How do you solve a problem like Graham Norton? a competition hosted by the director general of BBC 1 encouraging programme makers and executives to battle to come up with new programme ideas for a man being paid millions of pounds to do bugger all, aside from occasionally teasing Nicholas Parsons on the radio and looking distraught at the departure of two trainee hairdressers on that dancing show that doesn’t have Brucie on it. Despite heavy investment no original programme idea was found.
So the Beeb decided to give him a downmarket version of Operatunity (or is that an upmarket version of Pop Idol?) instead.
“Johnny, Remember Me?”
Chirpy twat Johnny Vaughan and miserable twat Johnny Vegas are introduced to three members of the public each in turn. Vaughan is locked in a room with huge quantities of cocaine and champers; Vegas in a dank cellar full of pies and Guinness. After two hours, the Johnnies are removed (as it were) and asked probing questions about the members of the public.
The member of the public that each celebrity remembers most about goes through to the final, in which they have to recite as many facts as they can recall about a famous Johnny – e.g. mediocre smashed-ankles racing driver Johnny Herbert, fake zookeeper Johnny Morris, dead cook’s pissed sidekick Johnny Cradock etc. etc.
The winner of this round wins a selection of rubber johnnies.
Hosted by Johnny Ball.