Monthly Archives: July 2006

Joke stolen from Bruce Morton

I went to the hairdresser today and asked for highlights.   He showed me action replays of previous haircuts. (c) B Morton

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gameshows 16

Why can’t we all get along? Jeremy Kyle presents the race relations game show that replaced The Price is Right in a shock move for ITV1 Teams captained by Germaine Greer and Salman Rushdie make amusing comments on topical news … Continue reading

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Quincy missing episodes: the case of the aggrieved masseur

So, 100 metre world and Olympic champion Justin Gatlin has failed a drugs test (again).  This happened some months ago and explains the failure to race against Asafa Powell this season. To the usual range of excuses  (it was something I ate, … Continue reading

Posted in drug cheat, masseur with a grudge, news, quincy, sleaze, sport, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

You’re my besht friend but you’sh’ll never take my freedom (subject to due process)

Recovering alcoholic, renowned Scottish impersonator and fluent speaker of Aramaic, Mel Gibson has been arrested for drink driving.   Drunk in charge of a lethal weapon?

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Tommy Sheridan

This week is crunch time in the Sheridan defamation case.  He leads his final witness (his grinning, besunspectacled wife, whose white-knuckled trip into court each morning has lightened the evening news broadcasts) and the jury then decide (as he put … Continue reading

Posted in law, news, politics, scottish socialist party, sleaze, tommy sheridan, Uncategorized | 6 Comments

Famous for 40 seconds

I obviously watch too much television.  This will be apparent from a glance through the posts   However, I have been given a sign by Charlie Brooker – patron saint of quality television. Charlie Brooker’s Screen wipe last night had a brief … Continue reading

Posted in charlie brooker, extras, famous for 40 seconds, television, too much television, Uncategorized, under the spotlight | 3 Comments

Look into my eyes, not above the eyes, not below the eyes, but into them. Okay you’re under

Dr Paul McKenna, celebrity hypnotist, is officially not a charlatan.  A judge has held that you cannot say that he bought a PhD from a dodgy Louisianan diploma mill.  That is completely untrue and libellous.   Unusually for a celeb suing … Continue reading

Posted in celebrity hypnotist, defamation, law, news, not a diploma mill, not buying degrees, paul mckenna, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Meme – 23 questions

Via blue_condition 1. Elaborate on your default icon.My son at eight months holding a torch. 2. What’s your current relationship status?Together for 8 years.  Married for 4 and a half. 3. Ever have a near-death experience?Not personally, but I have attended … Continue reading

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Very sad

Tour winner Landis has apparently given a positive drugs test.   Say it ain’t so.

Posted in drugs, sport, tour de france, Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Proposals for game shows – number 15

Now that’s what I call muzak After the demise of his chat show with Melanie Sykes Des O’Connor returned to ITV1 with this bastard offspring of Name That Tune which replaced some programme with Philip Schofield (Bollywood in your driveway … Continue reading

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They call this news?

At the time I found the following link the news that someone that the public disliked sufficiently to vote out of the collection of plastic freaks and nonentities that is the current series of Big Brother is to get a … Continue reading

Posted in fake game show, television, they call this news?, Uncategorized | 8 Comments

What’s the story, Balamory?

I was on holiday last week at home, practising my Ronglais (did anyone else see Ron spit the word, "verbs" at the screen on last night’s Excuse my French?  His teacher was complaining that he didn’t use verbs in French.  … Continue reading

Posted in balamory, children's television, ron atkinson, television, Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Proposals for game shows number 14

A Round with Allis. Military hardware is loaded with a round of ammunition in order to shoot a fleeing portly Peter Allis at a number of golf courses around the country. Two teams compete to have the opportunity to fire … Continue reading

Posted in (un)justified violence against bigoted c, fake game show, game show, peter allis, television, Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Proposals for fake game shows number 13

Hannah Gordon’s Water Cooler Challenge Hannah Gordon – best known as the woman that killed Victor Medlrew – returs to our screens presenting this daytime Channel 4 show (the pre-Countdown slot).  Skulking in a nearby office and with CCTV she listens … Continue reading

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Of sunbeds and scrabble: Tommy Sheridan update

The last time I posted about the Tommy Sheridan defamation case I made reference to his sacking of his legal team and pondered how Sheridan would do as his own representative.  Since returning to work after vacation I have heard within the … Continue reading

Posted in defamation, law, politics, scottish socialist party, sleaze, tommy sheridan, Uncategorized | 16 Comments

Man v Beast – our digital future

Digital television is great. The set-box box has brought us some fabulous entertainment. During the past month I have seen Peter Watkin’s Culloden on BBC4. Last year I saw Death on the Staircase, a wonderful documentary series on the US … Continue reading

Posted in carl lewis, dwarves used for entertainment, game show, man vs beast, orangutan, television, Uncategorized | 5 Comments

Sports personality of the year 2006

The final para of this article from the Guardian suggests that cross-channel swimmer and star of Doctor Who parody the Pitch of Fear and Rock Profiles, David Walliams is one of the favourites for Sports Personality of the Year. The … Continue reading

Posted in darts, phil taylor, sport, Uncategorized | 3 Comments

Obsessives of the world unite – Countdown statistics in full

A while ago I posted a link to a site which has detailed statistics of every game of Deal or No Deal. I have now (via Almax’s blog) come across this: the Countdown page.  Let the homepage speak for its … Continue reading

Posted in countdown, statistic analysis, television, Uncategorized | 2 Comments