Author Archives: loveandgarbage

About loveandgarbage

I watch the telly and read when not doing law stuff and plugging my decade and a half old unwatched Edinburgh fringe show.

to be a political pilgrim

Let us go to the house of the three flags Cast off our clothes, dress humbly in rags Bare heads bowed, clumsy in silent homage Genuflect, at Ed’s cue seethe with our faux rage Mouth the condemnatory incantation “Thornberry’s tweet disrespects … Continue reading

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Modern political rules: number 45

Don’t disrespect the van Of any man called Dan.

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“some comedians push the boundaries in the name of entertainment”

I’d no idea that being a misogynist Was a way for a comic to take a big risk, That leering and jeering and shouting out “moist” Was something a telly bod would want to foist On innocent viewers across the … Continue reading

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Griff Rhys Jones lives in a hice

Impoverished Rhys Jones Discards mobile phones And other costly devices As he renews attacks On Ed’s mansion tax For targeting wealthy folk’s “houses”.

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A rubbish topical poem about the fuss about the Ukips and the Mock the Week

We want a new hero to help Mock the Week Rejecting the nob gags, and Parsons’ stock cheek To stand up for Ukip, to come off the fence. Where is he? where is he? Where’s Andrew Lawrence? To talk to the public, to say the unsaid: About immigration and why Ed … Continue reading

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The “Revolution” will not be televised again on Newsnight (if they’ve any sense)

Oh Piketty! Woe Piketty! Inspiring such prolixity! Who’d have thought his economics Translated into fluent bollocks. But all ideas fall at the hand Of cultural icon, Russell Brand Whose revolutionary attacks Would reinvent corporate tax At twenty pennies in the pound (the … Continue reading

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A rubbish hastily typed topical poem on David Cameron’s impromptu budget press conference

When you sign international obligations You should watch for cheap machinations And lectern thumping for party audience – Play the long game, develop patience, Pick your fights, avoid the faux rage (designed to out Ukip that Farage). Best when asked about the EU budget … Continue reading

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lines on the departure of Johann Lamont as leader of the Labour party in the Scottish Parliament

Few will lament The end of Lamont, Apart from that Ed Who she’s punched in the head.

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A rubbish poem written in 10 minutes about Russell Brand

Who’d have thunk when watching Big Brother’s Big Mouth The Dickensian host with language uncouth Apologising for Jade’s racist remarks Some months later would alarm Andrew Sachs By phoning to say he’d shagged his granddaughter And other remarks he’d really ought not to? … Continue reading

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A rubbish topical couplet

Might be best to avoid Private views of Lord Freud.

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a rubbish topical poem contemplating the lack of official concern into allegations of ballot rigging in the referendum raised by a well known American writer

On Sunday we’ll go to Freedom Square; Let’s hope Naomi Wolf will be there Brandishing her blank ballot spreadsheet With labelled columns, all lined and neat: Listing regions from around Scotland And ballot papers that should have been banned. The Electoral Commission doesn’t … Continue reading

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This week’s rubbish topical poem-lines on the media reponse to Douglas Carswell’s by election victory

Matthew Parris blames you For the Clacton to do.

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A rubbish untopical poem on a topic and in a style requested by a reader

Crow and legislative competence His winged shadow black Fell on the page black Crow descended black He clawed the words black His acts – beak tore black Crow belched “Not law”

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Another rubbish poem on a topical issue

I sometimes incline To confuse Naomi Klein With Wolf, which is a no go Perhaps best resolved with a logo.

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tonight’s rubbish topical poem

A sheep in Wolf’s clothing I’ve just read Naomi. Her brain’s shred. Oh my, eh?

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National poetry day 2014

Those things that poets said   Those things that poets said Of love seemed true to me When I loved and I fed On love and poetry equally.   But now I wish I knew If theirs were love indeed, … Continue reading

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this week’s other political poem

Mister Ed was talking hoarse So whispered “deficit” Of course

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This week’s political poem

Sadly I didn’t have the time For Ukip to move me to verse

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A personal reflection on the impact on me of the departure of Jason Orange from Take That

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referendum poem

Like many people I have greatly enjoyed the tremendously bad poetry about the referendum as people have put together words on a page with no sense of the shape of the words on the page, how to use space,  or any … Continue reading

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