EXCLUSIVE : first draft of Vicky Pryce trial jury questions

1. Can we rely on the readings of chicken entrails by the juror who sacrificed a chicken on the third day of deliberations?

2. If we believe that the accused had an identical twin who is wholly evil and may have committed the crime can we use this in reaching our decision?

3. Is the episode of The Tweenies featuring Max dressed as Jimmy Savile something we can take into account in reaching our decision?

4. Is a partial understanding of the Hilary Mantel piece on “royal Bodies” something we can take into account in reaching our decision given that we have only relied on Louise Mensch’s piece about it in The Sun where she indicates that she had read the 5,700 words in 5 minutes, and a tweet from Piers Morgan saying that he had read it three times?

5. Can we take into account the defensive frailties of Arsenal in recent weeks?

6. What’s your favourite colour?

7.  Is turning The Hobbit into 3 long films something we can take into account?

8. Why do you wear a wig?

9. Can we go home now as there are three of them in here that are stupid and frankly I don’t want to speak to them any more?

10. Heads or tails?

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