It gives me great pleasure to introduce my new social media outlet, Garbagen, which takes all the good bits from twitter and other social media (but without contravening any intellectual property, naturally) and ditches them. Instead Garbagen will be a new exciting social media – launching originally only in Ecclefechan – allowing you to comment on political stories in a manner that will be acted out by 180 characters, including one from a nineteenth century novel and two from an overwrought radio drama.
In launching Garbagen I told myself, in an incisive interview,
“I had a brainwave over Christmas about Twitter hashtags and the frustration of finding that people sometimes used them to make sarcastic comments about me in a manner I couldn’t control. I found that while I liked following people in my line of work (snark and sarcasm) and what they had to say, I hated the mundane tweets that are mentioned in interviews but don’t exist in real life about people having breakfast or buying ornaments for their tropical fishtank. I wanted something on topic but with my name in it. I therefore decided to set up Garbagen - which will allow the delivery of Garbage on topical news stories, and – in keeping the best traditions of twitter (which I’ve not ripped off in any way, oh no) – will allow for the recycling of Garbage from other people, but without attribution. Anyway, don’t menshn twitter again. I don’t want people getting the wrong idea.”
The people of Ecclefechan have seized the opportunity to contribute to Garbagen since it was launched and current trending topics include a discussion of Thomas Carlyle’s statue and a series of offensive comments about Kettleholm.