Monthly Archives: November 2010

Live blog: Snow (Regularly updated throughout the day)

Following the example of The Guardian newspaper which is obviously all news-ed out with the Wikileaks revelations and has got in on the act after almost 1 centimetre of snow has caused chaos in London’s central London I have decided to … Continue reading

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BREAKING: Prince Andrew is stupid royal and has been stupid for at least 22 years

According to the Guardian Prince Andrew has been identified as the member of the royal family the Americans believe is stupid and rude. This is no shock. My grandmother, who is ill at the moment, made her only TV appearance … Continue reading

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Her illness

She is dying. I visit the hospital, into the lift, past the signs advertising phones and TV at your bedside for as little as £3 per day. I enter the ward, pausing to cover my hands in an alcohol spray, … Continue reading

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BREAKING: Man and woman who agreed to decide to do a thing have decided when and where they will do it

A phalanx of news reporters can exclusively reveal that the man and woman who last week agreed to decide to do a thing (exclusive story here) have now decided when and where they will do it. The world of the … Continue reading

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whoops apocalypse

I see that the North Koreans have finally been told the World Cup scores.

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Remembrance of speeches past – Harvard, 31 March 2008

In considering aspects of the great global economic meltdown for various bits and pieces that I do I have found it useful to look back, to read Galbraith’s Crash of 1929 and other things about that period while marvelling at … Continue reading

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Some thoughts on the strange urge that some newsreaders have to dress up for children in need and the impact this has on my inclincation to give money to the charity

If I wanted to see dressed up news readers I would just send them messages on twitter and wait for them to skype me. (as tweeted on Friday)

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BREAKING NEWS: Man and women decide to do something in a few months

Correspondents lined up in London’s central London today to report from in front of a fence outside a big house that a man and a woman had reached an agreement and decided to do something next year. The man and … Continue reading

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That royal wedding – a lawyer writes

Look, here is a 9 judge decision in the Supreme Court of the United Kingdom approving ante-nuptial contracts in English law decided on 20th October 2010. And here is the breaking news that a wealthy man – who will inherit flipping … Continue reading

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A Blessed relief

Is it just me or does every blogger consider, in advance, what title he’ll give to a post he or she will write on 15th November? I considered “The last post” but dismissed it as being potentially insensitive given the … Continue reading

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David Cameron unveils new UK plc corporate song

David Cameron, Aardman’s first successfully created plasticine UK plc managing director, today unveiled the new corporate song for the organisation in order to distract attention from lots of bad news.

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BREAKING NEWS: Exclusive fake Crown Prosecution Service statement on twitter outrage

I am delighted to break this fake news this evening as I have been leaked an exclusive copy of a wholly fictitious statement about twitter. A pretend spokesman for the Crown Prosecution Service this evening confirmed that the CPS intend … Continue reading

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Armistice day

I was born on Armistice day. I became aware of the importance of the day early in life. Many of my memories of childhood involve my great grandfather, a very elderly man, bespectacled, who I remember wearing an ochre coloured … Continue reading

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BREAKING NEWS: thing happens (or doesn’t happen) in London

The world of the British media was shocked to its very core today when it became apparent that a thing was happening (or not happening) in London. Early media reports about the thing were sketchy as the media had only … Continue reading

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