When (fantasy) animals attack

With thanks to Alastair for drawing attention to the legal story of the year.

My stumbling attempts at teenage relationships were hampered by the lack of an internet. The happenstance of discovering shared interests, mumbled conversations in Italian restaurants, arguing about the scripts of Quentin Tarantino, or the relative merits of Sylvia Plath and Ted Hughes. Now, it appears that you can establish a relationship on-line through shared interests in animal role play, meet up and reach an arrangement to kill your parents in exchange for letting the killer dentally bobbit you.

The prosecution counsel notes

"It seems that Skarnes was to receive no money for killing Mr and Mrs Monks but the prospect of biting off Monks’ penis. This was the climactic act of the conspiracy."

 

Well, there you go. Mr and Mrs Monks survived. Their son and his lover are on trial for conspiracy to murder.

Mrs Monks has understatement of the year,

"There is no-one in our closest circle of friends who is not shocked at what has happened."

 

And while the trial continues the poor defence counsel will be preparing the speech,

"Which of you can honestly put hand on heart and say that he or she hasn’t…"

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