On the day that a drunken Fifer admitted assaulting Sir Alex Ferguson before he’d attacked a policeman (the headline drunken Fifer assaults Fergie conjured up images of Gordon Brown doing something awful to the Duchess of York), Scotland achieved (what was referred to in the Radio Scotland commentary as) “the greatest result ever”. As my wife and I listened to the radio (I refuse to give money to Uncle Rupert – taking the Dennis Potter approach to Murdoch’s humanitarian value) we listened astounded as a commentator failed to draw breath for what seemed to be the final 6 or 7 minutes of the game; as the presenter Richard Gordon crowed with paroxysms of delight; and Scotland players willingly hugged Chick Young. As the final whistle blew, and mindful of the greatest football commentary ever (3 minutes 15 second in) we tried to come up with an appropriate list,
Napoleon Bonaparte, Vercingetorix, Cardinal Richelieu, General de Gaulle, Marie Antoinette, Francois Mitterand, Julie Delpy, Alain Prost, Nikolas Sarkozy, Asterix the Gaul. Can you hear me Asterix the Gaul? Your boys took one hell of a beating.
Within minutes of our finishing this rant, the first text message (of similar terms but mentioning the Hunchback of Notre Dame and onions) arrived at Radio Scotland. As this appears to be the chosen manner of celebration for small nations defeating international superpowers it is always worth having a pre-prepared list. So, the next time a home nation plays France in an important sporting event who should appear on the “Your boys took one hell of a beating” list?