For the naysayers among you, and I know there are some out there, top scientists have today confirmed that RTD was right all along. Levitation is possible.
A scientist said,
“I had often watched top magicians like Paul Daniels, that bald bloke offof Monkey Magic that used to be on Channel 5, and Andrew O’Connor and wondered how on earth they had managed levitation. If levitation was possible this would make the next step to anti-gravitational hoverboards for all – solving the climate change crisis caused by fossil fuel use at a stroke. A stroke, I tell you.”
The scientist then revealed how he had solved the problem.
“Having wondered how it was done I then caught sight of the excellent episode of Doctor WHo, “Last of the Time Lords” on BBC television. During this I realised that the answer had been staring me in the face – lots of people chanting a word at the same time while relying on a sophisticated satellite control network.”
Holding up a small cog the scientist said,
“I have now put the satellites in place and if everyone in the world chants or thinks ”cog” at the same time the cog will glow and then float in the air. If only I’d known that all science used on Doctor Who had been tested by Russell “Television” Davies in his flat in Manchester I could have made this leap for mankind far sooner.”
Mr Davies was unavailable for comment, although a small wizened Davies the house elf dressed in a small tailored suit was found in his flat earlier today, shouting “Hooray” at inopportune moments .
This is not true, well, not all of it. Apparently levitation is possible for tiny things. Well, there you go.