Monthly Archives: May 2007

Conservatives go tabloid

So Aardman’s Conservative creation David Cameron is (according to Iain Dale) due to unveil his new press bod Director of Communications (very campbellesque).  Apparently it will be former News of the World editor Andy Coulson, who resigned because the royal editor of … Continue reading

Posted in politics, tommy sheridan, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Confidential memo leaked from government

From: Field Major StyreTo: The Boy Wonder Subject: Stop and search in schools Alan, Like you, and all right thinking people in Britain, I live in fear of the daily threat of international terrorism.  This is a threat of life-ending … Continue reading

Posted in politics, Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Caption competition

Open until next Thursday, the winner will get a prize relating to an unmissable show on the Edinburgh fringe (Lothian and Borders police permitting) (provided you can make your own way to Edinburgh). The previous competition was won by peeeeeet … Continue reading

Posted in caption competition, Uncategorized | 7 Comments

Peace to arrive in September

Ping  blue_condition  : just speaking to a bookshop owner in Edinburgh who is arranging the Scottish launch of David Peace’e next novel.  Looks like it will be September and the first in his Japanese trilogy.  

Posted in books, Uncategorized | 6 Comments

Fake game show

Roadkill Donors Channel 4/Endemol (Roadkill Donors’ little Roadkill on E4 immediately after) Three prospective recipients of a kidney transplant (and other organ replacements) are placed by the roadside at the Isle of Man TT races in mobile paramedic units.  Justin … Continue reading

Posted in fake game show, television, Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Summer news season starts early

What will the next prime Minister be reading over the summer?  The new Ian McEwan?  AL Kennedy’s latest?   Some Pinter poetry?  Rereading his Proust?  Maybe some Orwell?  Nah.  Harry bloody Potter. Polish scientists are to investigate whether the Teletubbies promote … Continue reading

Posted in linkfest, news, Uncategorized | 4 Comments

Fake ITV1 summer schedule

An audience with the Pope After the successful revival of the format in recent years with Lionel “Hello” Ritchie and Take That the original “audience with” format of a witty raconteur regaling the star-studded audience with amusing anecdotes in response … Continue reading

Posted in fake game show, television, Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Stop and question Supervoc and permatan Tommy’s peculiar request

I didn’t post about Mr Tony and Field Major Styre’s latest intended assault on civil liberties yesterday as I’ve only just calmed down.  (Let blue_condition  sum it up).  I’m white and usually in a suit so the proposed new powers won’t … Continue reading

Posted in hazel blears, law, peter hain, politics, tommy sheridan, Uncategorized | 5 Comments

I can’t believe it’s not quite Blake’s 7

Via Rob Buckley Kudos is developing a space travel drama described as follows: “In Outcasts, penned by Spooks writer Ben Richards, the future of earth looks increasingly precarious and the race is on to find an alternative home in the … Continue reading

Posted in kudos, sf, television, Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Behold the Messiah

So the prophecies were true after all.

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Legal news

The Scottish Executive under Alex Salmond (for First Minister (TM)) confirmed that Eilish Angiolini has been reappointed as Lord Advocate – the first ever Lord Advocate to be appointed to successive governments of  a different political complexion. The new solicitor general … Continue reading

Posted in law, scottish politics, Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Jeremy Kyle

The Jeremy Kyle office has phoned again leaving more messages. This is becoming more than a little peculiar. My wife thought that they must have wrong number.  I initially thought it must be a wind-up.   ANy suggestions as to how … Continue reading

Posted in jeremy kyle is an odious fool, television, Uncategorized | 2 Comments

If you want to call Jeremy Kyle

The number is 07801624891. They are proving very insistent, which given that my mobile number is known to about a dozen folks suggests a wrong number or someone is having a laugh. ETA called via work switchboard and it was … Continue reading

Posted in jeremy kyle, Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Jeremy Kyle

I have received a concerned voicemail message and texts from the Jeremy Kyle show this morning asking that I contact them urgently to discuss “my problem”.  Tempting though this is – as I haven’t phoned the show and was unaware … Continue reading

Posted in bizarre phone calls i have received, poll, television, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Who is the greatest Brittan?

In order to deal with a query by perlmonger      in the comments to one of the previous polls (where was Leon Brittan? ) who is the greatest Brittan? Coming soon, who is the greatest Breton? who is the greatest Britton? … Continue reading

Posted in flogging a dead horse, poll, Uncategorized | 3 Comments

Stop the hypocrites: freedom of information

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Fake ITV1 shows

Greatest Brittons 2007  Sponsored by Ryvita Philip Schofield presents this tour around the home and family of his This Morning co-presenter Fern.  The ITV1 audience thrill to spend time in the presence of her close family including father, actor Tony … Continue reading

Posted in fake game show, poll, television, Uncategorized | 4 Comments

Who is the greatest living Briton?

Inspired by ITV1 and their poll yesterday I have consulted widely with a carefully selected panel to draw up a similarly diverse shortlist of nominees to determine who is the greatest living Briton. 

Posted in poll, Uncategorized | 14 Comments

Real fake television shows: Greatest Britons 2007

Occasionally television surprises me.  That’s generally a good thing.  I like television to challenge.  That’s what it’s for: the real national theatre, there to expand the mind, to challenge prejudices, as well as to entertain.  Sometimes though television surprises me in … Continue reading

Posted in fake game show, television, Uncategorized | 3 Comments

There goes my childhood – Chapelcross

I grew up within 3 miles of Chapelcross nuclear power station.  The towers dominated the geography of my childhood and still dominate the landscape of my memories.  Whenever I return to my parents, now with my own children, the towers were … Continue reading

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