The latest Stevens report is about to be published. This time Lord Stevens is examining whether some football managers (or others in football) take bungs. I can exclusively reveal that the report clears the Duke of Edinburgh of any wrongdoing, despite allegations from Fulham FC.
Lord Stevens will next examine the religious beliefs of the Pope and just what bears do in the woods.
I reckon Fulham should be very careful when their team bus passes through any tunnels. Although, to be fair, no-one will be believe that the paparazi were chasing the Fulham players.