How do you solve a pogrom like Odessa?
ITV1 attempts to arrest its decline by poaching Graham Norton to host auditions for a new musical by Andrew Lloyd Webber and Ben Elton based on a faithful musical recreation of anti-semitic riots in Tsarist Russia. Candidates are judged by Simon Cowell, Mel “i’m your besht friend, honesht” Gibson, and Topol. The contenders are chosen following a fight judged by Barry McGuigan and are then voted on by members of the public phoning premium rate phone lines.
Sick but brilliant.
which would be a nice epitaph